Tragedy Strikes

Well, tragedy struck 3 weeks ago, but I haven't been able to think about it without losing my composure and crying my guts out, but I need to document the bummer stuff too I guess.
SOOO, Brian works for a work comp. company and the account he's on is switching companies. He's been to a ton of interviews, had a couple offers but sadly none close to home. (With gas over $4 now you'd think that's the tragedy I speak of but it gets worse!) He'll end up commuting 45 min each way to work everyday which sounds fun.
The problem we're faced with is our puppy. We don't have a yard so we kept our Scouty inside while we were gone to work and Brian would come home for lunch and take him for a walk so the longest he was ever alone was 4 hours. Well, commuting a farther distance he can't come home, and I'm a ways out too. We explored every avenue for the dog: dog walker, doggy day care, leaving him in the yard, another dog, etc... The only problem is everything we read and researched said dogs aren't solitary creatures, and as it was our poor puppy was getting a little big of separation anxiety.
We had to give him away. Now, to you people who aren't dog lovers you won't understand, but even just typing that makes the pit in my stomach churn. Luckily, there's a gal that works with Brian who has a beagle and desperately wanted another so it was perfect, and even though Brian's job won't switch till July, we decided it would be better to cut the cords now rather than have it looming over our heads for the next two months. So, a few Fridays ago, Brian took him up to his co-workers. I've never been more devastated in my whole life. I'm have my fair share of heart breaks and upsets, but NOTHING COMPARES TO THIS!
Sadly, that's not the end of the saga. So, Saturday rolls around after no sleep and with so many tears I'm sure I dehydrated myself we decided to de-dog our house and get rid of as much evidence as possible. Our plan of action then became to stay out of the house as much as we could to keep our minds off him. By Saturday night we were both dying...it was pretty pathetic, but worse yet is the phone call we got saying the gal couldn't keep Scout, that her dog wasn't getting along with him.
So, thank you for chopping my heart into a million pieces and serving it up on the blue plate special. We didn't know what to do.
Well, we pulled up our big girl panties and drove out to our dog who was very happy to see us. It made the whole thing unbearable.
The worst part is that after grieving over him terribly, I didn't know how to feel. Do I get attached again knowing I'll have to re-break my heart? The next couple of days were hard even though we had him back...it became a losing battle.
The story does have a happy ending...for Scout at least. That next week we got in touch with a beagle rescue Brian had heard about from his dog park friends and the guy in charge liked Scout so much he ended up keeping him! So we know he's in good hands, but we sure aren't. We've been in shambles ever since. I've decided to keep myself VERY busy to keep my mind off him, but I miss him too much: The baying at the garage door if I took to long to come in the house, his happy wagging tail that made his whole back end wiggle, the pitter patter of his feet up and down the stairs, his warm tummy on my lap after a long day, the dryer sheets he'd steal and shred when I'd fold the laundry, even trash day reminds me of him! (when we'd walk on trash day, he'd hunt down every piece of shrapnel left behind from the wind)
Anyway, I'm hoping writing this all down will help. Hopefully it will ease this constant heart ache, but so far only ice cream seems to do the trick.